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Chapter 82
Look, I get it. Sometimes there's no way to ignore someone's species when you interact with them. Sometimes your species is too much a part of who you are, and people need to be considerate of that.
Like how nobody would invite Char to go swimming. That's fine.
But is it really necessary to treat Eons like their whole defining characteristic is what evolution they want?
All my life it's been "Hey! What do you see yourself becoming one day?" or "Still deciding on what you want to be?" or "Hey, bet you can't wait to get your paws on an evolution stone! If you decide to be a Leafeon, come apply to join our team, we could use one!"
It's like Pokémon collectively don't know any other way of approaching Eevee than to ask about evolution. And it makes us feel like we don't exist as a person until we pick an evolution. It gets grating after a while.
Like, can't we talk about something else? There's a whole fox under this fur, y'know. A fox who loves adventure books, and playing checkers, and pineapples. No, not pinap berries, actual pineapples. Ever had one of those before? They're delicious. I'd run halfway across the continent for one, any day.
And I can battle, too! I can summon some mean shadow balls. Know any other Eevee who can do that?
Actually, there's a fun story behind that one. When I was a little kit, I had a Haunter as a friend. Her name was Reptile. At first I was scared of her. Whenever I would try to explore this creepy cave, she'd come and chase me back out. I kept going back because I was a dumb little kit with half a brain who thought he was being brave. One day, it was like the other half of my brain grew in, and I realized the cave was her home, so I went to apologize for bugging her so much. We started talking, got to be pretty good friends. Sometimes we'd battle, but I'd always lose. I lost so much, she took pity on me and taught me a move that would help me fight ghosts. She actually taught me by phasing into my body and controlling me! Super creepy, but it worked. I can summon ghost energy now.
Eat your heart out, Raon! I bet even you didn't learn shadow balls before you evolved!
Funny thing about Reptile is that she liked being a Haunter and never wanted to evolve. I always liked that about her. It inspired me not to care about what other Pokémon think of my evolution choices. Showed me it's okay to just be who I want. Maybe I'd even decide to be an Eevee forever and I wouldn't let anyone else make me feel bad about it.
Oh! Also! The whole normal-type thing, too! What if I like being a normal-type? Is that somehow inferior? If you know anything about Eevee, you'd know our evolution is meant to adapt us to harsh environments. The ability to just pick one like you'd pick a favorite poffin flavor, that's a real modern concept that human Pokémon trainers invented for when they were trying to build their battle teams or whatever. Back in the wild, you'd evolve to help you survive wherever you needed to live. Live on a seashore where all the food was in the water, you'd get a tail fin. Live in a place with a lot of storms, and you'd get immune to lightning and run fast enough to outrun tornadoes. You get the idea. Point is, your body would adapt to suit your lifestyle, not the other way around. And if you lived in a suitable habitat for normal-type foxes, you'd have no reason to evolve at all.
Besides, you'd never go up to Otto or Dragonbane and say "Gee, it must be so unfortunate being a normal-type. How inferior. I bet you'd rather be an Eevee and get to pick your own element." Seems rather insensitive when you put it like that, doesn't it?
(Though, to be fair, I bet Dragonbane would give anything to be a Sylveon, so maybe that's a bad example?)
But alright, even if you're jealous of Eevee for being able to pick their element? Don't be. It's really not all as glamorous as every Pokémon except for Eons make it out to seem. Just the fact that we're stuck with whatever we pick kind of ruins the glory of it.
Just imagine this for a moment: you're a spirit with no body, you're floating in the void of spirits before you even exist in the egg. Then out of nowhere, Giratina starts talking to you and asks you what kind of Pokémon you want to be. So you say, "I have no idea, can I try out any of the bodies first so I can figure out which one I like the most?" and Giratina replies, "Nope, you have to pick blind and you're stuck with whatever you pick." So you shout back "Well thanks a lot, you're really helpful, just give me a random body then because they're all the same to me."
Sometimes, that's what being an Eevee feels like the most – and why many Eons actually hate picking an evolution about as much as everyone else expects us to like it.
Having said all that, I suppose now is a good time to confess that I've been keeping a little secret from everyone.
I've always known what I want to be. From the moment I understood how it works and what my options were, there was only one evolution I ever wanted. The reason I don't like telling anyone I want to be a Vaporeon, is because then they'll ask why. And I don't know why.
Really, I don't know why. I don't even know what I'd do as a Vaporeon. I'm not looking forward to any of its special abilities. Shadow balls are much cooler than hydro-pumping anything. I've never been obsessed with the idea of being able to turn into water. Or swimming, for that matter. I guess swimming is nice, but it's not something I'd want to base my whole life around.
It sounds weird, but I don't even want to do anything as a Vaporeon. I just really. Really. Really. Want to be one. And I'm going to be one. And nobody can stop me.
That sounds weird when I say it like that, doesn't it?
It makes everyone uncomfortable that I'm so sure of my choice, but I don't even have a reason for it. Whenever I tell someone, they start begging me to tell them the reason like it's some kind of secret I'm hiding from them. When I try to get them to understand that no, there is no reason, then they start urging me to reconsider, don't make up my mind just yet, try asking other types of Pokémon what it's like to have their elements, and that kind of thing. So I've just got in the habit of telling everyone I'm still deciding.
Sometimes I start thinking that if I don't even have a reason for wanting to be a Vaporeon, maybe it's just a horrible choice. There are no oceans around here. There are a lot of grass-type Pokémon and a lot of lightning storms, and a lot of things that could just wreck me whenever I step out of the city. There are barely any water-types here in the Gold Division who could help train me. Yeah… not a lot really going for a Vaporeon here in the Gold Division, is there?
Then I tell myself that if it's a horrible choice, too bad, I guess I'm going to be stuck with it. Because there's no way anyone is ever convincing me to turn into something else.
It's a secret that's much harder to keep when I'm sitting here in my new room and pawing at an actual feral-shard sitting right in front of me. I don't have a waterstone yet, but thankfully those are not so hard to get. I'll find one in the Iron Town markets. Or I guess I could ask Ray to order one from Kecleon. But for now I just poke this really shiny rock in front of me while I write my journal.
New room is nice, by the way. Team Ember's got some great bedding pads, unlike the twenty-year-old cots we had to put up with in Team Stripes that feel like they've petrified to stone at this point. When we all got to pick rooms, I decided to room together with Leo and Zona, two of my old teammates from Team Stripes. It's a little cozy with the three of us here, but somehow still enough room for my own bed pad and enough space to keep some of my favorite things, like my journal and my choice band.
"Thinking about evolving?" asks Zona from the other side of the room.
"Yeah, I sure am," I say. "Kind of hard not to, after just being handed a feral-shard like this."
"I gave mine to Zachel," Zona says a little meekly. "Not really ready to make the change quite yet."
I sit up and look at him. "How come, if you don't mind me asking?" I say.
He looks at the ceiling. "I feel like there's a lot expected of Ninetales, I guess," he says. "Ninetales are supposed to be wise and important and live a thousand years. You never really see a Ninetales and think of them as young. I'm sure I'll evolve someday, but I guess I just don't want to turn into a Pokémon that everyone else is going to want to look up to, until I make sure I'm a Pokémon worth looking up to, if that makes any sense."
"Makes enough sense to me," I say. "But don't forget that it could be the other way around too."
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"Maybe the first step to being a good Ninetales is just to be a Ninetales," I offer. "It's just something I'd keep in mind if I were you, if nothing else seems to work."
"Well alright, I'll keep it in mind," he says politely, though I can tell he's not completely convinced. Then he offers me a chance to bare my heart to him in return and says, "What about you? Do you know what you want to be?"
I try not to cringe at the question because I know Zona doesn't mean any harm, and because I think he legitimately cares about trying to understand his friend a little better.
"If I tell you what I want to be, will you promise not to laugh?" I ask.
"Huh? Why would I laugh?" he says, looking surprised. "All of your evolution choices are very good Pokémon. I can't think of any that I would laugh at."
"So do you promise?" I say again.
"Of course I promise," he says. "I'm not going to laugh at your evolution choice! Not unless you say, I don't know, you want to evolve into a Magikarp or something. Then I'd probably laugh."
"Well, you're close," I simply say. "I want to be a Vaporeon."
Zona blinks at me. "Oh, that's it? I'll be honest, after you told me not to laugh, I was expecting something more surprising. A Vaporeon! Sounds perfectly fine to me. Maybe I'll have to evolve just so I can defend myself if you want to tease me."
"Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that," I sigh. "But that's not the part you'll laugh at. Now you're probably going to ask why I want to be a Vaporeon. This part is harder to explain."
"Well, I admit I was curious," Zona says. "But you don't have to tell me if you don't want."
I shake my head and grit my teeth. "Nah. I think I want to tell you. You're my bunkmate now. If there's anyone I should tell, it's my closest friends. Because I sure don't like telling anyone else."
"Well, now you've got me even more curious," Zona says. He crosses the room to sit next to me and stares at me interestedly, like he knows I'm about tell a story. "Well, Evan, I'll be happy to hear whatever you have to say."
"'Evan'. I'll have to change that name too," I say kind of to myself. "Never really liked my name that much. I just hope I can think of something better by the time I evolve."
So I look at the ceiling and try thinking back to the day I first realized I wanted to be a Vaporeon.
I tell him, "When I was really young, I asked my Flareon mother why she looked different than me. So she showed me a book about Eevee evolutions I guess so she could show me all the different ways I could look if I wanted. This was before I could even read, so I could only look at the pictures.
"She opened to the first page and there, drawn across the whole entire page, there was this beautiful sea monster. The artist drew it like a legendary Pokémon where it was drawn all giant and graceful and just so absolutely magnificent, and the water was flowing all around it in these swirly currents and everything. I took one look at that picture and I fell in love. I wanted to meet this creature and be its friend. So I asked mother if I could meet them, and she said no, but I could become that monster if I wanted.
"My whole world shattered when she said that. Just the thought that I could become this sea monster, it was so crazy and amazing. It did something to me. I touched the picture and I made a silent promise to the picture that I would meet it in person some day, and be its friend, even if it meant I could only do that by turning into it myself. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it made sense to me as a hatchling. And then when she tried to show me the rest of the book, I wasn't paying any attention because none of the other pictures were Vaporeon. At that point, my mind was totally made up and none of the other pictures even mattered.
"After that I started growing up and learning more about the world. I realized the Vaporeon wasn't nearly as godlike as I thought when I was less than a year old. I even met a few Vaporeon in person. Started to realize that it was just another Pokémon, just a Pokémon who could swim and turn into water. And yet, nothing changed my mind. No matter how much time passed or how much older I got, I kept that promise to that picture in the book. So when I finally evolve, the first thing I'm going to do is imagine that my younger self is still deep down inside of me somewhere, and I'm going to say 'Hello, Evan. It's me, your childhood hero. Nice to finally meet you.'"
I cringe at hearing myself say all of that out loud. I hate telling that story, even to myself, because of how dumb it sounds. "Yeah, I know. That's probably the worst reason for evolving that you've ever heard," I say as I lay my head on my front paws. "You can say it if you want, Zona. Tell me it's stupid. I know. But that's the real reason I'm going to turn into a Vaporeon. Basically, there's no reason at all. Part of me really hates admitting it."
Zona blinks and says, "Evan, that's actually really beautiful."
"No it's not," I say. "You don't have to lie. It's stupid."
"I think wanting to fulfill a childhood dream is beautiful," he says. "What's so wrong about that? Don't all Pokémon want to fulfill their childhood dreams?"
"Because this childhood dream is nonsense," I say. "Vaporeon in real life aren't even anything like the picture in the book, or at least the way the picture looked to me when I was young. Mythological legendary Vaporeon don't exist. The inner child in me hasn't realized that yet. So now I'm probably going to turn into a Vaporeon and immediately regret it, and it'll all be my stupid imagination's fault."
Then Zona says, "I think you want to be like the picture in the book anyway."
"What do you mean?" I say.
"Maybe you can make that picture real," he offers. "Maybe you want to become a Vaporeon worthy of being drawn as magnificently as the one in the picture. Someone had to draw that picture in the first place. So someone out there thinks Vaporeon are really that amazing. So you can be, too. There's nothing stopping you."
"Yeah, nice thought, I guess," I tell him. "Well, I guess I'm going to find out one way or another. Whether I'm going to be an amazing Vaporeon or a terrible one, I'm sticking with my choice."
"I don't think there's really such a thing as a bad evolution choice," he says. "Actually, I don't think there's such a thing as a good choice, either. It's just a choice. I think whether you're a good Pokémon or not is up to the way you live, not what species you are. So if you picture yourself as a great Vaporeon, then you should do it, and ignore everyone who tells you it's a bad choice. Especially the voices in your head that are trying to discourage you. Those can really be the worst, but sometimes they're the most important to ignore."
"Yeah," I say quietly. "Thanks, Zona. I think I needed to hear that. I'm probably stressing out about this too much. It's just an evolution. Lots of Pokémon evolve. Eons are just cursed with the regret of all the options they didn't pick. But in the end, it's just evolution. Totally a normal thing. Totally normal."
"Why not talk to some other Eons in the meantime?" Zona suggests. "Maybe Eva and Raon. And some of the others around the base. I'm sure they'll be able to give better advice about evolving than I can. Or even talk you out of it, if that's what you really want."
"Yeah, I guess," I say as I poke the feral-shard again. "I never did actually ask any other Eon why they picked their evolution. Just because everyone already asks us those kinds of questions all the time, and I didn't want to come off as annoying. But yeah, maybe I'll try that. Maybe my reasons aren't as weird as I'm thinking. Maybe all Eons secretly are just following their silly childhood dreams. Wouldn't hurt to know."
So that's what I think I'm going to do now. I figure, if there was any point in time that I needed to try doubting my evolution choice, it's now, before I make the choice. So I think I'll set out to find some other Eons around the base and ask for their perspectives.
Being the closest one to me, I'll start with Eva. She's only two rooms over.
So I go and ask to talk to Eva, hoping that she and Char haven't fallen asleep yet. I tell her I want to have an Eon-to-Eon talk. So Char leaves us alone for a while, and I tell Eva a shorter version of the story I told Zona.
Eva doesn't react well to my story, and it kind of hurts.
"You don't want to be a Vaporeon," she tells me. "The ocean is nowhere near here, and the Gold Division is not an ideal habitat for water-types. You would be miserable."
I try to defend myself. "But we have the portal now," I try to say. "There are rivers and stuff in the forest by the secret base. I'm sure I could go swimming if I ever get too dry. And Team Ember goes on plenty of cave expeditions, don't they? I could really wreck the rock-types."
"Or, you could be a Leafeon, and you can wreck the rock-types and be happy dwelling amidst the fields and forests, too," she tries to tell me. "You seem to be contriving reasons to support your preconceived conclusion. But you asked for my advice, and I'm giving you my advice. My advice is that you should reconsider."
"Okay, well, what made you decide to be an Espeon?" I ask her.
I'm surprised when she has to pause and think about it. She glares at something, and there's regret in her eyes. I'm surprised because I recognize that look on her face. That's exactly the same way I feel every time I think about the reasons I want to evolve. I'm ashamed of my reasons. I can't imagine that she's ashamed of hers, too.
Finally, she says, "I did not choose to be an Espeon. I evolved on accident."
This sends a chill through my fur. I ask, "How exactly do you evolve on accident? I thought feral-shards only work if you tell them you want to evolve."
She sighs hard, resigning herself to telling me a bunch of her secrets. She says, "Because I come from the human lands. I evolved before I ever came to Ambera, so I did not need a feral-shard. You must understand that while there exist certain stones that can help you become an Espeon, one of the ways to trigger the transformation is through extreme happiness. Specifically, extreme happiness while standing in the sunlight. I evolved on accident because I once experienced such happiness at the wrong time. Ironically, the cause for my happiness was realizing I finally had the opportunity to evolve into what I always truly wanted to be. By the time I realized what was happening, the transformation was complete, and I had become a creature I never wanted to become."
I hesitate before I ask, "What did you want to become, instead of Espeon?"
She looks at me, glares right into my eyes, and says, "A Vaporeon."
Before I have a chance to say anything else, she says, "But I am glad that I did not become a Vaporeon. I realize now how foolish it would have been. I entertained dreams of swimming freely in the ocean and getting myself wonderfully lost within the worldwide currents, but realize now that it would have felt no different than how a bird feels when flying through an empty sky with the ground hidden by the clouds, or how a land-creature feels when traversing a plain, flat desert: pure and utter monotony with no sense of direction. Vaporeon, to me, represented complete and uninhibited freedom, but as I have since learned, freedom is merely the ability to choose the cage in which you dwell. Therefore, with no cages, there can be no freedom."
Eva probably figured out I didn't care about the sense of freedom or anything like that. As profound as her philosophy lecture was, she wasn't swaying me one bit.
"Alright, let's say I wanted to be an Espeon," I tell her. "How would that make me happy, exactly?"
"Well, have you ever wondered what another Pokémon secretly thinks of you, or how they feel about you? Or whether another Pokémon is lying to your face?" she says. "As an Espeon, you would never need to wonder about it ever again, because you would have the power to know the truth."
"Unless they're a dark-type, I'm assuming," I say.
"Yes, or a sufficiently skilled psychic, or someone specially trained in the art of deceiving psychics," she says. "But you might find that such limitations do not matter as much as you might think. With the power to read minds, you would notice certain correlations between a Pokémon's thoughts and actions. Body language, vocal tone, and a variety of things can give you insight into a Pokémon's inner mind without needing to read it directly. A psychic-type has the particular advantage of recognizing and understanding these correlations on a deeper level than most, and so with a bit of experience, you might find it trivial to know what a dark-type is thinking."
"Oh, you mean like the way you're obviously trying to discourage me from being an Umbreon by telling me you'd still be able to know what I'm thinking?" I shoot right at her face.
"Yes, precisely like that," she says all snobby-like. "But then again, I cannot, and will not, stop you from making a bad decision with your evolution. I can only offer my advice. Do with it what you will."
"Yeah, well, now I'm going to go ask Raon what it's like being an Umbreon," I say as I stick my tongue out at her.
"Don't kid me. You were always going to ask him, regardless of what I told you," Eva says. "But I will say this much: Umbreon is certainly the most widely popular of all your evolution choices. There is a certain mystique and allure to the Umbreon which makes them most irresistible to Pokémon. So if your intent is to become a celebrity, Umbreon is certainly a choice I would highly consider."
So then I go to look for Raon. But when I get up to Team Remorse's quarters and I start claw-tapping their door, Daemon comes out and informs me that Raon is out running a night mission. Makes sense, I guess. That's their specialty.
"But I think there's someone here you'd be interested to speak with," he says all exasperated-like.
For a moment I can't imagine who else he could be talking about. There aren't any other Eons on Team Remorse, and he's the only other dark-type they have. Then I remember he's not the only other dark-type they have. There's also Craw. So I'm sitting there at the door expecting Craw to come out and talk with me. I start to think that won't be so bad. He's even one of the division's rare water-types, so maybe he could give me advice on being a Vaporeon.
Instead, it's a Mew. Alright, that makes sense too.
Domo comes floating out and transforms into Raon for me.
"So. You had questions about being an Umbreon!" he says. "Oh. It feels so weird to be teaching Pokémon again. Haven't done this in too long."
"I don't know if I need to be taught anything," I say. "I just want to know what it's like being an Umbreon. You know, because I'm trying to decide what I should evolve into."
"Luckily for you, I've spent a bit of time in Umbreon form lately," says Domo. "Well, you should already know the most obvious advantage of being an Umbreon. No psychics intruding in your mind! Ever! Unless they know special tricks, of course."
"Wait," I say. "So there are actually ways for psychics to read a dark-type's mind?"
"Why yes, of course," says Domo. "If there's one principle I've learned about Pokémon and the studies of their powers and weakness webs, it's that no power is absolute. If you know how, every Pokémon's power can be subverted, disabled, ignored, weakened, flipped, inverted, you name it. But you'll find that it's really less about what a Pokémon can do, and more about why they want to do it. No psychic-type is going to go through the trouble of breaking a dark-type's immunity unless they think there's a good reason for it. If nobody knows you're hiding a secret, nobody will know to look for it."
It makes enough sense to me, although the bit about 'it mostly matters why you'd want to do something' isn't helping me much. I say, "Alright, so are there other advantages to being an Umbreon?"
"Certainly," says Domo. "Night vision. And extremely good stamina. Umbreon can really take a beating and get right back up, unless there's a type advantage. Extremely dexterous, good evasion skills. Not as good as Jolteon, but reasonably up there. Also tend to be very focused on their task and not easily distracted. Unless they go for days without sleeping. Which you can very well do. Some Umbreon can go for three whole days without sleeping without a decline in performance. Basically, if you want to run night missions and battle the Watchers, Umbreon is what you want, no question about it."
I think to myself, 'Or you could just be friends with a Vulpix who knows crazy psychic powers that can fend off Watchers better than the Division's self-proclaimed best night-hunter.'
I know what I'm about to say next, and I can't stop myself. "Alright, how about Vaporeon? That's another one I'm considering."
"Vaporeon?" he says with surprise. "Gosh, do I even have a Vaporeon transformation? I thought I did, but I must never really use it."
He looks like he's searching through his memories for a little while. Then he glows and becomes a Vaporeon for me. As soon as the transformation ends, he looks down at his paws and back at his body as though he suddenly became some kind of gross alien.
"Ugh. I feel all dry and sticky," he says. "I don't mean to sound rude, but why would you want to be one of these? It seems like a really weird pick. Most of their strength comes from being around water all the time. I'm not saying it's impossible, but you'd have a rather rough time adapting to life here."
But I don't answer because I'm suddenly spellbound by just the sight of having a Vaporeon in front of me. It's been a few years since I last met one in the real world and I forgot what they looked like. Now I know they don't really look all that suave or majestic, especially compared to an Espeon or Umbreon, but to me it looked just like the picture in that book I'd been thinking so much about lately. So for a moment I'm just standing there, probably with my eyes shimmering like a baby, and saying to myself 'Ooooh, I want to be just like you!'
And just like that, every doubt and counterpoint I'd found against my original choice just evaporates into nothing. I'm where I started. And it didn't even take any logic or reasoning. All it took was one look. One look at my childhood hero, and everything changed back.
The spell is broken when Daemon the door again and demands to have 'his fake Scyther' back. So Domo had to cut his little demonstration short before I could ask him about any of the other Eon evolutions.
But that was okay, because I realized just then I don't really need to speak specifically to Eons for advice. I just need Pokémon of the right type. And I have plenty of those all around me. A few of them are even my friends.
The next morning we wake up and have a team meeting led by Tallie. She gives out the tasks for the day and I end up on an assignment to guard someone's home against intruders while they're away. Leo and Zona get to come with me, and Zachel is the leader for this mission. Sounds simple.
The only weird thing that happened that morning is that Gemstone has gone missing. Tallie doesn't elaborate at all, like she isn't really worried. To be honest, I'm not either. Gemstone being the self-proclaimed team leader that she is, she should be fine on her own. Eva says that if Gemstone isn't back in two days, we'll send a search party. Weird, but okay.
(Of course, I'm sure a lot of us are secretly hoping she doesn't come back at all. I wouldn't be surprised. Not me, though. She hasn't really offended me or bothered me that much yet. So for now I still respect her as a teammate and I hope she's alright.)
For this mission we get to go out the waterfall exit, not the academy one. That's rare. The mission was actually given by some of the resistance members who live in that little village out there that guards the waterfall, and we have to spend the day there because they want to have a break or something. Pretty easy, since we're not the welcoming committee for Gold Division teams, and that town doesn't really get attacked at all.
So of course, once we set up in the little cottage at the edge of the village and define our patrol paths and stuff, I go up to Leo and I say, "Hey, this is going to sound like kind of a weird question, but what's it like being an electric-type Pokémon, exactly? What does it feel like? Just wondering, in case, you know, I decide to be a Jolteon or something."
He answers me, "Oh? Actually, I don't really think that much about it. The electricity is just a normal part of me, kind of like my tail! So when you ask that, it's kind of like asking a Pokémon what it's like to have a tail. It just feels normal."
I say, "Yeah, but even Pokémon with tails can kind of explain what it's like to Pokémon without tails, you know? Like I'm sure you can tell someone 'you have to be careful not to get it stuck in a door all the time' and that kind of thing."
Leo tilts his head like the cute little lion cub he is, and he says, "Yeah, I'm sure there are some things I could tell you about, let me just think for a moment. Umm… it get gets more powerful when I'm super happy or super angry? And if I use a lot of it, it makes me super tired?"
"Isn't that true of most Pokémon powers, though?" I say.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," says Leo. "Sorry, it's like trying to describe what having a tail is like, it's hard. Um… I get super excited when there's a thunderstorm?"
"Yeah, most Pokémon feel better when they're surrounded by their element," I say.
Leo starts looking all ashamed. "Umm, I have to be careful not to zap my friends with it?" he tries telling me. "There's this whole thing with ions, you have to make sure to keep your ions balanced with the things around you, or you'll start zapping everything. It's hard to stay focused when I get annoyed, so that's why I start sparking up when I get mad."
I nod at him. "Okay, that helps a lot, actually," I say. "Sounds like being an electric-type is kind of annoying."
"No, not really?" Leo says. "I mean, I don't know what it's like not to be an electric-type, but to me it's just normal. Kind of like keeping your balance while you walk, you don't really have to pay that much attention to it except sometimes."
"Would you recommend becoming a Jolteon?" I ask.
"Hmm, no, not really?" he says in that way-too-cute little voice of his. "I mean, unless that's what you want! I'd teach you all the tricks I know, like this one where you discharge and zap all the Pokémon all around you, all at once! Electric types are really dangerous in battle. I know Jolteon can run super fast and are really good at fighting. But um… I really don't have much more to tell you about it. Sorry."
I thank him for doing this best and trying to explain things. Then I go to Zona to ask for his perspective on being a fire-type. We have a nice little conversation on the rooftop as the sun beats down on us, which I imagine is quite comfortable for him, but it only makes me wish I was already rid of this thick fur.
"When you're a fire-type, you have a real live fire inside of you," Zona explains. "We call it the ember. It controls all of your fire abilities. You can feel it all the time, and you can imagine how it's doing by the way it feels. You can feel when it's strong and when it's weak. Some Pokémon even think that the fire is your soul, and the rest of your body is just a husk meant to protect it. It doesn't go out until you die."
"Wow, that sounds, um, warm," I say. "You never really get cold, do you?"
"Not usually," he says. "When I get cold, I get really, really cold. But the ember keeps me warm almost all the time. It's quite nice."
"Are you actually immune to fire?" I ask.
"Yes, actually, I am," he says. "That's called 'flash fire'. I can't get burned. If you try to set me on fire, it only makes me stronger. Actually, I think Flareon get flash fire too. We could have fire fights!"
I have to smile. "Wow. So far, out of all the Pokémon I've spoken with, you're doing the best at selling your element to me," I say. "Now I can picture myself as a Flareon. That sounds kind of awesome."
"Really?" says Zona. "I'm not trying to actually sell you anything. I'm just trying to explain the way it feels."
"Well, you're really eloquent at it," I tell him. "So thank you."
"You're welcome," he says with a little smile. "What next? Is there anyone else you want to talk with?"
"Maybe Saura, for a grass-type," I say. "Or Taka, if I could track her down anymore. I don't even know where I'd start with ice-types; I'm starting to think Glaceon is actually even a worse choice our lifestyle here, judging by how few ice-types I've seen. And I guess I could speak with Lyre about being a fairy-type, but I doubt I'd get a coherent answer out of her. I'm sure there are other fairy-types in the base, though."
"Yeah, I'm sure there are," he says.
He pauses for a moment.
"Hey, Evan?" he says.
"Yeah?" I say.
"I hope you get to be a Vaporeon soon," he tells me. "I can't wait to see how happy it makes you. Obviously your heart is set on it, and not even the other Eons could change your mind. So I think you shouldn't keep second-guessing yourself. Actually, now I'm just worried that you're going to second-guess yourself at the last moment and not be a Vaporeon. Can you imagine that?"
I have a physical reaction to hearing that. My heart stops beating for a moment.
And I guess that's the moment where I finally realize how absolutely certain I am of my choice. Yeah, even more than I already was, if you can believe it. Where before I was ashamed of being so affected by a picture in a children's book, I don't feel a hint of shame anymore. Now I want to shout it definitely at the world and at anyone who would dare object.
I was just trying to do my due diligence before making the chance, like Eva suggested. It's funny how I had to look at everything backwards in order to see the answer for real. The idea of not being a Vaporeon? Ouch.
"Wow, you're totally right," I say as I'm still in shock. "That's really the only other alternative, isn't it? If I let something change my mind, then I'll never be a Vaporeon. Just the thought of never getting to be a Vaporeon makes me kind of want to die. In fact, what am I even doing right now? Why am I still in this stupid body? I don't belong in this body anymore. I know what I want! Hey, world! I want to be a fish! Deal with it!"
"You just need to wait until the end of the mission today," Zona says.
"Yeah, but by the time I get back to Iron Town, all the shops will be closed," I say. "And I'm not going around the Gold Division begging for a waterstone. It's just our luck that we got this dumb all-day mission! Now I'll have to wait until we get a day off."
"No, because I actually picked out this mission, just for us," Zona tells me with a huge grin. "I found it on the bulletin board and asked Char if we could take it. The payment is a basic evolution stone of our choosing. I'll give you one guess who's getting it. And here's a hint: it's not a firestone for me."
"Zona, you didn't," I gasp. "Come on. Really? You took this whole job just for me?"
"Leo's in on it too," Zona says. "When I told you yesterday to go talk with the other Eons, that was actually just an excuse to make you leave the hall so I could talk to Char about it. And Char spoke to Tallie, and I found Leo and spoke with him, and now here we are. By the way, Char's really excited about your evolution, too. He says it'll be great having our first water-type on the team."
I cross my neck with his and almost start crying from happiness. I just barely manage not to cry, but boy I'm really shaking. "Thank you," I whisper. "I'm so happy. It's finally happening. It's finally coming true. Thank you for making me realize how badly I wanted this."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Zona replied. "But just so you know, you'll probably have to not cry on me anymore after you evolve. I'll drown!"
"Then maybe you should be a Ninetales, so you won't drown as much," I retort.
And so, the sun finally set on my last day as an Eevee.
I kind of hated Zona for telling me the surprise before it was even noon. It was not easy getting through that last day! I nervously paced around the whole village about five times. Then I jumped into the waterfall just to see if it would make me evolve. Unfortunately, it only reminded me how much I hated wet fur.
Or sticky fur, for that matter. Or tangled fur. Or just fur in general. I wanted it all gone.
Well, I had everything I needed. I had my feral-shard from Basin Canyon. I had my waterstone from the mission. And most importantly, I had a resolute heart. I took all those things, and I evolved that night in the secret hideout as the whole team watched. We made a whole ceremony of it. I noticed Eva was more than a little indignant at me, but everyone else just cheered me on.
Well, everyone except for Gemstone. She was still missing. And Dragonbane. He was on some mission with another team and it was running overtime, apparently. But everyone else was there.
Evolution is… really something. I'll say that much. You feel like you're going to explode, then for a few moments you don't even feel like you have a body. When everything stops, it feels like you're wearing a weird, clunky suit of armor. It's annoying until you start to realize the armor fits perfectly, more perfectly than any armor has any right to fit. And you realize that, just for a single moment of time, you're restored to perfect and pristine health, like you've never taken a single hit for your entire life.
And then… the whole world is different.
Of course, the world isn't actually different. You're the one that changed. But the whole entire world to you is different. You've got sharper eyesight. Larger lungs. Thicker skin. A larger, sturdier frame. A pulsing wealth of power deep inside you, brimming with that aura energy that all Pokémon have. And now, a beautifully new sweet-feeling of elemental energy, all for you to control. A single moment of celestial bliss. That's the only way I could have described it.
Yeah, the whole world is totally different now. Because now I get to explore it for the very first time like this.
I guess another perk of evolving as an Eevee is that nobody will ever ask you again what you're planning to be. Instead, now everyone, everywhere, is going to ask you why you chose the evolution you chose. Especially other Eevee, like me, who wanted to weigh their options. But that's fine. I realized it wasn't all that bad to always have everyone asking you the same question. It's just part of being an Eon, and I just have to accept that. Besides, I needed to have a reason in the first place, right? Because sometimes I would need to remind myself of that reason.
So when Char asked me that question for the first time, the first of the hundreds of thousands of times that I knew Pokémon everywhere were going to be asking me for the rest of my life – "What made you decide to be a Vaporeon?" – I did my best to answer it.
"To begin with, I don't think the choice really matters all that much," I say, absolutely relishing my amazing new voice. "If there's anything I learned by asking other Pokémon about their elements, it's that it all just becomes mundane in the end. It's not fire, or water, or electricity. It's just you. Whatever you pick, that's just going to be who you are. It's just life. So after a while, no matter what you pick, you're not going to think much of it.
"And just like everyone else, you're going to have difficulties that are part of your life. Some difficulties are always there. Some difficulties I brought upon myself with the choices I made. That was another reason I was asking around for advice – I wanted everyone to tell me why I shouldn't be a Vaporeon, so that I'd know what kind of challenges I'd face and be ready to face them. Because when your heart is really set on something, it doesn't matter how easy or hard it is. When you know you want something, you make it work.
"Yeah, I'm not an Umbreon, but I can still fight the Watchers with my shadow-ball. I don't have many places to swim around here, but I'm sure I can build a pool somewhere. And I know I'll get wrecked by all the grass-types and electric-types that like to live around this region of the continent. But I have such awesome friends who I know are willing to support me. And I'm sure there are twelve dozen other problems I haven't even considered. But like I said: I'll make it work. Because this is my choice, and I stand by it.
"But I guess, if you guys just want a straight answer to the question… why did I choose to be a Vaporeon? Well, here's my answer. Because I could. That's all you're getting; end of story. And I'm honored to be the first water-type to serve upon Team Ember, and I hope I can be of great use to you guys."
Applause went all around. It's funny. Just the other day, we were all applauding Saura's return. Now it's my turn to be celebrated. I guess we all have our moments like that where we take turns being in the spotlight. I guess that's the mark of a good, supportive team. Makes me wonder who we'll all be applauding next.
Eventually the applause died down, I realized Zona had pounced on me and was nuzzling my flank, and I hadn't even noticed. I could tell that Leo had wanted to, but he stopped himself at the last moment out of courtesy. Good boy!
Yeah. Then I started to notice that I felt weird and sticky and dry. And my breathing was a bit labored. And I felt oddly much warmer, uncomfortably so. Strange; I thought losing my fur would make me feel colder. Huh. I guess heat regulation worked a lot differently with… skin? Is this actually skin, or just really tiny scales? Huh… it's amazing just how little I actually know about Vaporeon physiology…
But that was just the start of the challenge, and the challenge was all part of the glory of it. I was ready to learn it all, to embrace it all, even the hard parts.
And finally, I turned to my inner, younger self. I was the water-god come to life, stepping off the page. I looked down at the little Eevee and I said, "Hey, Evan. It's me. I know you've waited a long time to meet me, but I'm finally here. Now we can be friends." And that little imaginary fox just bounced up to me and gave me the sweetest little hug, and wailed for joy. "WOOOOOWWWW, SO COOOOOOOL!" he shouted in so much awe, just like I always wanted to do if that ever happened to me. I knew I had made him – made myself – the happiest little kit imaginable. The rest of my life was just going to be the celebration of that moment.
Eva coldly stepped up to me. "Impressive," she said with a voice absolutely drenched in sarcasm. "Never before have I met an Eon so… overly adamant about such a suboptimal evolution choice. I hope you're happy. Just don't come complaining to me when you're dying of thirst or bleeding out from vine whip wounds. I warned you."
"Oh, don't worry, I will be happy," I shot back at her, almost with a hydro-pump to punctuate my sentiment. "Also… 'Adamant'. I think I like the sound of that…!"